Normally I don’t write much poetry, here two poems. I had fun writing both of theses.

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How do you really feel?

Sadness hidden behind the eyes
Cheerful smiling and joking, just a lie
Anxiety and depression close friends
Lying in bed with no motivation, oh you’re just lazy

Nobody really asks how you feel
Nobody really knows the self-isolation
Nobody really questions
Nobody listening

Freedom of choice is an illusion
Trapped in a prison of your own mind
Worse fears are the guards
Walls are your body
Warden is your brain

Tools of support in limited supply
Waiting waiting unknown wait time
Couple of hours over a short course
Not enough and too many waiting for too little

No, follow up no questions
Forgotten until the next referral
The cycle repeats until something gives
Giving up the gift of life for a sweet release

Never clean always leaving behind
Loved ones, unfinished chores
Why did nobody ask
How do you really feel?

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Emotional islands

Emotions are like the weather
A powerful force of nature
You can’t control it only adopt
You can never be fully prepared
Dark sad clouds give way
Light happy clouds give way

Exposed to the endless cycle
Don’t forget that it passes
Don’t get rainbows without rain
Don’t get happiness without sadness
You are not an island, not alone
Day and night, we all connected

Death of Queen Elizabeth ii

Queen Elizabeth ii passed away Thursday afternoon, 8th of September 2022. For 7 decades she was a symbol of continuity, a source of stability and order. Kingdom in turmoil the British public would turn to her, crown soft power and hold remained strong under her reign. I was in denial her reign would end, she had become an ethereal figure in British life. Reign that saw the birth of the commonwealth, modern Britain trying to find its place in the world. Just like when she came to the throne the kingdom is in turmoil, with economy and politics with a sense of malaise. 

Unlikely to see another Queen during my lifetime and reign as long. Remarkable women whose sense of duty and values are lacking these days. Of course, we never truly knew who the Queen was, mystery gave the crown its strength. She did care about her subjects, serving them and listening. Her death did cause me a tear, reflecting on my own grief. 

I wish King Charles the best of luck, got big shoes to fill. I do have a republican lean but I can see the value of the royal family.  In my own way must mourn her passing, the end of an era. She has reminded me to be my best self and that public duty is important. 

Paul Keating former Australian prime minister

In the 20th century, the self became privatised, while the public realm, the realm of the public good, was broadly neglected.

Queen Elizabeth II understood this and instinctively attached herself to the public good against what she recognised as a tidal wave of private interest and private reward. And she did this for a lifetime. Never deviating.

She was an exemplar of public leadership, married for a lifetime to political restraint, remaining always, the constitutional monarch.

To the extent that an hereditary monarch can ever reflect the will or conscience of a people, in the case of Britain, Queen Elizabeth II assimilated a national consciousness reflecting every good instinct and custom the British people possessed and held to their heart.

In a 70-year reign, she was required to meet literally hundreds of thousands of officials – presidents, prime ministers, ministers, premiers, mayors and municipal personalities.

It was more than one person should ever have been asked to do.

But Queen Elizabeth II’s stoicism and moralism welded her to the task and with it, the idea of monarchy.

Her exceptionally long, dedicated reign is unlikely to be repeated; not only in Britain, but in the world generally.

With her passing her example of public service remains with us as a lesson in dedication to a lifelong mission in what she saw as the value of what is both enduringly good and right.

The slow pace of change

Change is slow and often incremental. The start and end often end up in history books, the journey is often seen in a modern view. Sometimes the journey is never discussed only the start and end points. Social attitudes move with the times, for example, society accepts gay people compared to 50 years ago. Result of persistent campaigning, the law is often slow to catch up. All of the above the result of gradual change, reforms happened followed by further reforms. The colourful history behind it is a bunch of important events along the way.

Of course, I have not covered anything and missing loads out from the picture. Could argue that I’m being ahistorical here and persistent radical action or radical legislation has done more. Thing is that really ignores the journey, without compromises none of this would be possible. A picture is far bigger than just radical action or legislation. An advocate of gradual change in positions of power helped play a big role here.

Here are three examples national health service, voting rights and weekend/working hours.

National health service story about access to healthcare.  NHS is the legacy of past healthcare infrastructure joining together due to war.

Voting rights and weekend/working hours legacy of civil liberties expanding. Voting rights result from various movements coming together, protests and riots. The weekend is unique here due coming from working habits and campaigns shaping it. 

Britain’s first hospital St Bartholomew’s Hospital was founded in 1123, providing healthcare for the poor. Free care was limited to hospitals or workhouses.  Workhouses often did medical care but left much to be desired for. Poor care resulted in many campaigns leading to reforms, against untrained staff in unsuitable wards. Short summary healthcare was unregulated for a very long time and disorganised, access was limited. Poor medical care was commonly resulting in death. 

English poor laws can be traced back to 1587–1598, medical care was offered. Access to healthcare was patchy, Poor patients suffered from substandard care. Medical science improved more hospitals opened up, and experiences got shared about what worked and did not. National insurance act of 1911 Insurance gave workmen entitlement to medical care, and women and children were not covered. The idea that health insurance needed to be extended to dependents become a consensus but war stalled it.

Bertrand Dawson was commissioned in 1919 by Christopher Addison, to report on medical care. An Interim Report on the Future Provision of Medical and Allied Services, laying down plans for primary and secondary health care centres. Private schemes existed that provided health care.   Local authorities ran hospitals for local ratepayers, charitable voluntary hospitals did offer free treatment. Local govt act 1929 allowed local authorities to run services, not just ones authorised by the poor laws. English poor laws helped create the system still used today. Poor laws that funded that system were replaced in 1948.

Socialist Health Association campaigned for the creation of NHS, founded in the 1930s. British Medical Association pamphlet 1938 followed in the same footsteps. War in 1938 delayed reforms but centralised state-run Emergency Hospital Service meant reform was needed. Voluntary hospitals now depended on government support. Rather obvious that bringing voluntary hospitals under a centralised system needed to happen.  Labour started to plan and think about the universal health care system. During the 1945 Labour govt, Beveridge’s report shaped a series of key reforms. Healthcare became an important plank in that program. 

NHS was the result of incremental change.

Voting rights

Members of parliament were picked by the King until 1265. After those members would be elected by various counties. The Knights of the Shire Act in 1432, established the right to vote for members. Only to owners of real property who paid taxes to the Crown of at least X in value. The Reform Act of 1832 expanded voting rights to freeholder men above the age of 21. Chartism working class movement happened between 1838 and 1857 demanding the right to vote. Women’s suffrage started in 1830s, and took until 1918 and 1928. Women had the right to vote before it was removed in 1835.

Further reform act 1867 enfranchised householders or renters, including many working-class voters for the first time. Further reforms saw everything start to get standardised. Representation of the People Act in 1918, removed property ownership requirements for men but women could vote if they owned property. Representation of the People Act 1928 removed the property requirement for women. The age to vote has been reduced with time, representation of the People Act 1969 and reforms after have reduced it to 18. That is just a brief overview, violent and non-violent protests happened.

Voting rights were the result of incremental change

Weekend/working hours are far more modern in terms of history. Legalisation reduced working hours; weekends came from campaigns. Uneven at first having to overcome various traditions. An unofficial version of the weekend did exist in the 1870s. Some workers already did it. Religious bodies argued for it, trade unions played a part. The weekend as we know it was established in the 1930s.

Working hours can trace that back to 1901, 1908, and 1919, modern working hours 48-hour week in 1921 were loads of updates and reforms after that.

Once again incremental change

Of course, I have not covered anything. Persistent action slowly builds up before causing change to happen. Social attitudes add to the pressure. All of the above the result of gradual change, reforms happened followed by further reforms. Continual pressure for radical change, caused compromises to happen. Without moderates in positions of power, nothing would get done. We often forget how far we come. At pride, I was reminded of how fast society can move. None of this is the result being passive, active campaigning slowly moving people’s minds. 

My big worry right now is we don’t have the time to wait for action on climate change. Signs are positive but loads of work to do, slowly running out of the road. 

 

The craze of NFT

The last couple of years have seen blockchain-focused technology causing major crazes. Blockchain first use was cryptocurrency digital ledger, now non-fungible tokens use the same system. Both act very much like assets, markets for both being super volatile.

Meanwhile, gaming companies have pushed microtransactions as a core part of the business model. Digital sales of video games have been ballooned in size, with cosmetics items replacing expansions. Items for one game can’t be transferred. Revenues have become primarily driven by these cosmetics mainly.

Big AAA gaming companies claim customers still have a choice but to make digital items core to the experience. Rarely these days can you find a game without it. They have not been shy about it, apart from when regulators look around. Regulation of this new digital economy has yet to catch up. Dark underbelly and abuse have happened with this rapid growth some from mainstream actors. Wildwest with blockchain, criminals have milked the system using old methods.

The recent craze has been NFT or non-fungible tokens, normally digital art who the owner is stored on blockchain ledgers. Major brands have been slowly entering the market selling tokens. Gaming companies have been slowly waking up to this new source of income. Some are planning on adding it to the gaming experience. Whatever the hell that means…

A concept already exists with time-limited skins or items. The only difference is the lack of blockchain, which could in theory allow you to share it between games. Other technical solutions exist, the game shares assets between the various call of duty games.  Call of duty warzone has proved that not strictly necessary to do this. Laughable it would improve gameplay or user experience, finding it is hard to believe that the goal. We already have pre-order the game to get this cosmetic with no other way of getting it. Been massive focus on looking good to show off to your friends.

Gaming companies are chasing NFT due to seeing huge potential revenues, they have been abusing loopholes for years now. Hoping this craze leads to nothing but I fear the worse. This could be the next step something that is already here and possible. 

Everybody is terrible?

Easier for people to recall negative memories over positive ones. Part of the reason why negative news stories get attention. Human nature designed to keep us safe from the same danger. This does however end up clouding decision making. Some great insights can be found in Thinking fast and slow by Daniel Kahneman. Book called lord of the files covers the idea everybody can be awful. The main idea from the book that everybody can be evil. A real-life example that inspired the book was rather different. Group of boys all worked together to survive. Somebody broke a bone the boys carried him around.

The majority of people are not acting out against each other. Most people are hard-working and follow the law. Of course, things not black and white, some grey areas but on average we not that terrible. Society has become desensitization always expecting the worse from people. Unfortunately, this does have policy consequences, extremes are seen as normal. Happens all the time with doctors or social care workers. Sometimes feeding on worse impulses resulting in poorer outcomes. Recent example UK government expected people not to follow any lockdown. Refused to consider it as an option, delaying the later response. In reality, a big chunk of the people acted first avoiding unnecessary behaviour.

Need to be careful not to get stuck in thinking everybody is terrible. Most people live within the grey zone, not angels or demons try to avoid causing harm. People can make poor choices based due to products that help exploit people. We don’t directly see it happen. Good example is cheap food production, helped by pushing down conditions for HGV drivers and pay. Most people have short memories when comes to these stories. Another example would be climate change, you don’t directly feel the impact but somebody else does.

Role to be played here for strong institutions and legal framework to help protect people. Fixing undesired outcomes by making them not viable. Group think that we are uncorrputable better than other nations as slow decline happens. Reducing or damaging rules or institutions as general voter looks away is the worse outcome. Voter apathy may suit some people but does long term hard to fix damage.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing,”

Self reflection is required and we should ask tough questions. Needs to be some serious debate about what sort of nation we want to be. Sometimes that means making unpopular but neccessary choices that benefit people.

I never truly had a pet, most are family pets that I have helped pitch in to care for. Cats are often described as aloof, from my experience that is not true. Forming deep social bonds with their owners that not always obvious. They provide companionship acting as a blanket and support. Start to learn how they act and when things are wrong. Both feeding off each other.

Tigra was a sassy little cat who was curious and determined, would always punch above her weight. At first I never really connected to her but soon she stole my heart. Slowly becoming a companion to me, during my lowest point last year she helped save me. Would follow me around, lick and wash me sometimes. Snuggle up to me and sleep right next to me. Always wanting to inspect what I was having for lunch or anything new. She enjoyed heights loved to climb into trouble, once had to climb up a tree to get her. She would always be there for me, waiting for me to return home. Waking up would be greeted by a furry warm alarm clock. I have so many stories of her and thankful for the time we had together.

Last almost 24 hours I been waiting for her to return. Keep waiting to hear that meow and look over my shoulder for her.  Waiting for her to appear out of nowhere seeking the attention. Going to miss so much about her, calling her with meows in response. Dozens of meows which meant different things.

Last snuggle going to stay with me, as you numbed my foot. She gone now to heaven, after suffering from serious unfixable pain. Joining the other family pets together in peace and with my parents. Leaving behind one confused half sister and a family who loved every moment with her.  Goodnight Tigra 🙁 rest in peace