Bi-Cycle: The Spectrum of Shifting Attraction
Bi-Cycle: The Spectrum of Shifting Attraction
Life is full of spectrums, from physics to fashion. Attraction is another example. Doesn’t matter your sexuality, you can find a spectrum of attraction in it. But today, I wanted to focus on the bisexual umbrella and what’s often called the bi-cycle.
I was listening to a podcast the other day where the bi-cycle concept was talked about. I had never heard of such an idea before. Attraction shifts over time, rather than being constant. The idea is simple but something people don’t really talk about. Is a hidden truth here with crushes shifting over time. The Queer Collective Podcast: Bisexuality isn’t $50/50$, it’s a Bi-Cycle (published September 2025) go listen. Enjoying the podcast overall too. It’s a great episode on its own too. For some people, including myself, this is exactly what happens. This can cause confusion and self-doubt as things change. Took me a long while to understand this. Missing the subtle clues, but when it clicked, I noticed the pattern.
A simple way of putting it is I can go from being attracted to primarily masculine traits to primarily feminine traits over time. But it’s worth saying sometimes it’s neither so a blend. . Sometimes it’s equal. Things can get a bit complicated. It can be anywhere from a $90/10$ split to a $20/80$ split, or anything in between. These preferences can be always shifting, or they might hit a certain point and stay there for a while. Like a wave goes up and down the spectrum.
Sexuality is a spectrum, everyone knows that, but the core idea here was about the spectrum of attraction itself. Yet nobody really talks about it really apart from in passing. I used to fancy that person and now I don’t. Turns out there could even be a biological component at play. Seeking out certain partners due to compatibility. Suddenly, the experiences from the podcast, I could relate to each description and experience was familiar.
Sometimes, my attraction even shifts from being gender-focused to focusing on body parts. What I mean is some days my brain just decides, “I want boobs,” and doesn’t care who those boobs are on. This fluidity, this ability to find different traits or people desirable on any given day, is precisely what runs counter to the rigid binary gender norms people cling to. These norms, often amplified by a male-dominated society, are what cause some people to have such a hang-up about attraction that falls outside of a clear man/woman box. Nature doesn’t neatly put things into boxes. On the surface, things may look a certain way, but the truth is complex. Different genders have existed since humans have existed, or truthfully, even further back than that. But for me, the answer is simple. My attraction is complex and individual. Why care about it? Personally, I don’t care what someone has or doesn’t have. I’m just riding the wave of what feels attractive right now.
This fluid desire and the podcast were truly eye-opening. They made me reflect on the past and look toward the future. They helped me understand my confusion was the result of an internal conflict, trying to answer an impossible question that was restricted by binary social pressures crushing down on me. Instead, I flipped the question, removed some of those norms, and came up with an answer that finally fitted.
Poor sex education left a vacuum that the internet often filled with a fragmented, performance-only view of sexuality. This skewed information clouded my brain, making it hard to see my experience as anything but an anomaly. While the internet helped me realize that wasn’t correct, it also had a negative influence in the first place. It took me a very long time to slowly understand the bi-cycle.
I’m not going to lie. I still face challenges coming to terms with my sexuality, but these days, I’ve settled it. Undoing social norms and what is expected of you is rather difficult. That understanding transformed my confusion into acceptance. If you find yourself riding that confusion of shifting attraction, remember it happens to us all, just like shifting music tastes or food preferences. It’s not a problem, but reality of the spectrum of life. It’s a dynamic part of yourself you can’t fully control. Embrace the flow and enjoy the ride.