I Avoided Adolescence. I Should Not Have.
I Avoided Adolescence. I Should Not Have.
Originally, I skipped Adolescence when it was first released back in 2025. It was meant to be about the manosphere and frankly, I had no desire to engage with it. My worry was it would be a negative TV show about men. It made me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes we need to watch stuff or listen to things that make us feel that. I was not in the right headspace at the time to do so and decided to avoid it. I never understood it was a psychological crime drama about a 13 year old schoolboy, arrested for the murder of a girl at his school. This is not an easy watch and can be quite triggering. It touches on a couple of themes and problems with society at large, highlighting biases that many people have likely never considered, some of which people seem to be ignoring, along with the wider themes.
Beyond Toxic Masculinity
Toxic masculinity and its influence, driven by business models that make it possible to exploit it, is an obvious talking point. Yet the focus has been on teenage boys rather than those business models. That should lead to a conversation about moderation, platforms not taking down content, and how radicalisation can happen to anybody. It is easy to focus on the teenage male aspect here but that ignores much bigger, broader and more important nuances. Adult men can suffer the same problem. There are hundreds of examples of people being radicalised into hating women, for instance. I have seen friends go down rabbit holes due to algorithm feeds. Myself, I have struggled to resist that and had to reteach myself to avoid it.
Recently I saw a queer female content creator reframe the toxic masculinity conversation, while promoting some photography from a butch lesbian artist. The point she made was right and interesting. There is a well known discourse about whether most women would rather encounter a bear or a man alone in the woods. The fact that so many say bear says something. She talked about how society does not allow straight cis men to be vulnerable. The same is true in the queer community. It is not toxic masculinity but toxic vulnerability we are seeing. Men trying to figure out gender roles in a shifting society, lashing out and screaming whilst being vulnerable. The warrior male ideal is something people are trying to hang on to and society largely enables that. What we are seeing is men overcompensating, trying to appear more dominant than they are, acting out their vulnerability rather than expressing it. I have most likely butchered that point but it is a very important one. It seems so obvious and true. It was a pattern I had noticed myself but was not so sure about.
I have seen so many people saying they will play this TV series in schools. That ignores a generation of men and women really who have fallen into the same trap. I appreciate that different approach and viewpoint, but that is a sign of good media and TV. Different interpretations of it. I do think that creator’s point is one often missed in the nuance. When you look past the performance, what you are seeing is vulnerable men lashing out. And of course grifters and con artists profiting off it. Nobody seems to be thinking about that outside of a few people. That said, this TV show should be the start of a debate and conversation we need to have. I am not sure we are having that, but it should be something to discuss. What I find disheartening is moments like this TV show that start that conversation but lose momentum. I hope it leads somewhere and does not just disappear until the next show relights that fire.
It is now time to talk about the show after saying all of that and reflecting on it. The above is my thinking going into the show and an insight into how I view the subject.
I never liked these sorts of TV shows as they seem to flatten things, painting a picture of black or white. I do not blame people for wanting that because otherwise reality is far harder to grasp and scary. Adolescence is different though. No such thing as black or white here, just grey.
The writing, acting, directing, cinematography, atmosphere and performances are golden. Each episode is done in one take. No editing, no nothing, just one take with you following the action. Owen Cooper, who plays Jamie, delivers a great performance. A child actor who shows great promise and I hope he does carry on acting. Just 14 at the time of filming and now 16 at the time of writing. Not hard to see awards and a possible Oscar on the cards. That one take format is a big part of why his performance lands so well. He would have learned his part with moments of improv, suiting and fitting his character. The chemistry between him and the adult actors works really well too.
As a character, Jamie has that teen boy inside him. Trying to be validated, the vulnerable young teen he is, along with something far darker and a conflict within him. What makes this so compelling is that you can see him hanging on to the edge of a cliff. He is grey and struggling. Something else too is how one choice can set you down a path. One action, one decision can shape your whole life. A series of them, along with outside influence, is what has done that here. One click and how easy it is to wrap your thinking. What the character did was horrible, but he was a victim who created a victim. Not to discount it, but it was a tragedy. All sides being influenced by something much darker. The focus is narrowly on Jamie and his family along with friends, and it does miss talking about Katie, who was killed. I hope if we get another season it shows her side of the story. It is a shame we did not get more of that but I understand why. It was a choice to start a conversation that is badly needed. It is easy to focus on the surface level stuff here but as it turns out there is a lot of nuance, and that can be difficult to talk about. That is what I missed when this show came out. I appreciate this show for what it has done. Could end it here but I had better talk about the show.
Four Episodes
One focuses on Jamie, two focuses on the school with his friends, three focuses on Jamie with a forensic psychologist and four focuses on the dad with his family.
Episode One
Episode one is full of painful moments. The opener gives us a scared Jamie and a family who does not know what to do. It gives us a look into the police and justice system, one that follows a process better suited to adults than teenagers. Most people will never experience or know how it works, which is why the moments of Jamie being alone with just police officers feel so cruel. Him asking for his dad is heartbreaking, followed by the lawyer talking to his dad outside. There is one moment that is really hard to watch, the strip search scene. But the whole thing ramps up to something far worse.
The most powerful moment of the episode is the interview scene. First we are shown the evidence of what Jamie did, with the picture slowly built up as he lies to himself that he never did anything wrong. His dad, no matter what is put in front of him, refuses to believe it is possible. Social media, anybody? His lawyer can see what is happening and wants to stop the interview. His dad however decides his son has nothing left to hide. Instead of reading Jamie’s vulnerable state and taking advice from the lawyer, he decides to push ahead. What happens next is really sad. It ends with Jamie’s dad recoiling as Jamie tries to reach out in his most vulnerable state, but his dad cannot talk or look at him. The most human response one can have. You can feel for both characters in that moment, both breaking down at what just happened. The acting from both is just perfect. Then finally both of them hug and it is like the dad is seeing his son again. Yet he never truly comes to terms with it. What you see is Jamie seeking to be validated, a scared teenager above everything else.
Episode Two
This starts at the school with police officers turning up to look for evidence, taking place a couple of days later. On a technical level this is really good. One take, one long shot with the camera following people around the school as they chat. There are moments of distrust between students and police. The best friend is struggling to provide extra information, feeling like they already have what they need. Yet one of the officers cannot shake the feeling they are missing something. His son tells him he misunderstood the messages on Instagram. Another officer knows something about what was said, talking about incel culture, bullying and hidden meaning, with adults largely unaware of the context beneath it all.
You can see hints of the real motive emerging. The police officers pick up on something else at play, like she hated him. Which is what makes the writing here so good. As it turns out, teenagers and children understand the world far more than adults think. They are not stupid. It makes the arc of Jamie far worse. There is a darker influence in the background they never knew existed. The police are there to find the murder weapon, but what they find out is just as important. It gives us a motive and explains a lot. Oddly, unless you spend a lot of time online, some of it will not land. Things are deliberately vague. We do not see Jamie at all in this episode.
Episode Three
This episode is Jamie speaking to a forensic psychologist. We find out it is not the first time. It is a great episode that stands on its own without the rest of the story. The whole thing is built around Jamie’s internal conflict between the innocent teen and the much darker forces that caused him to kill. What is unnerving is just how vulnerable he is, while at times trying to display the opposite. Jamie yawns when he cannot get answers to the questions he asks, mainly what she has written in her notes. He is trying to be validated both as a teenager and within his own warped world view of women, one that darker forces have influenced. She seems cold but is trying to probe him and figure him out. You can sense his frustration. This is not what he needs right now. He lets his guard down before lashing out.
What I like is the acting. Every now and again Jamie touches himself, showing his discomfort and trying to self-soothe in a very natural, normal way. The more difficult the conversation gets, the more he does it. Truly good acting from Owen, and this is his debut too. After a while you can see he is suffering and struggling to deal with what happened. Jamie tries to present himself as in control yet he is not. His outbursts scare her, showing he can be a danger to people. He knows this. You can sense the anger and the resentment.
When he talks about Katie you can see a much darker thread. Her being at her lowest and him being unable to handle her rejection. Viewing women as beneath him yet something he desires. When she is at her lowest he feels she will finally accept him. There are moments of silence where she refuses to validate him. More details here link back to episode two. It becomes clear that Katie was bullying him over being an incel, which he was not. It is not fully clear what influenced him and the show never explains it in detail. There are moments where you see him at his most vulnerable, struggling to come to terms with what he did. He tells his story. How he asked her out and got rejected. She was going through her own lowest moment, which he saw as an opportunity. This is when we get the truth. He did like her, and she bullied him soon after. This is really important. There was some outside influence that helped create the person he became. It is not an excuse for what he did but it explains what pushed him over the edge, on top of his friends and him being bullied. All of this paints a picture of a genuinely complex character.
The psychologist tries to understand him, to see if he grasps what happened. What you get is the conflict within him. You can see both the monster and the boy. Then she drops the bombshell that this will be the last time she plans to see him, having got what she needed. That upsets him deeply. Unable to cope with the rejection, it is really rather sad to watch what happens to him, seeking validation once more. She is visibly shaken by the whole thing, almost throwing up, which makes the entire interview quite unsettling to watch. This is not the first time she has seen something like this, and it will not be the last.
Episode Four
Opens on his dad’s birthday, months later, waiting for the trial to begin. The family is coming to terms with what happened, with loads of small nods to Jamie throughout, who we do not see. The dad still has not come to terms with it. He still sees the young teen, not a killer. Over the episode we see the abuse the family takes from those around them, the dad losing his temper, and slowly every member of the family realising they cannot escape this.
What we see for the first time is the rest of the family together, and it makes things relatable. The love between mum and dad is clear. Tiny details show the difference between the dad and Jamie. The dad can cope with rejection and the darker outside influences that corrupted Jamie were never part of his world. The daughter, Jamie’s sister, makes for great contrast too.
There is a moment when the dad gets recognised at a store and is asked for advice. The young worker holds the same misogynistic world views as his son, highlighting just how mainstream and dangerous incel culture has become among young men. It is a terrifying realisation for both the viewer and the dad. These are not just isolated internet trolls. It is also the moment the dad gets a brief look into the outside influences that corrupted his son. Not long after we see him losing his temper, background noise fading away, his family visibly scared. It is him having something of a breakdown, and in many respects it echoes Jamie a little.
To make matters worse it is his birthday, with Jamie phoning to wish him well. He thinks it is just his dad but his mum and sister are listening in too. You can just hear him, a teenage boy trying to be normal, wanting to be validated. His family tries to avoid giving him that. He tells them he will change his plea, yet they move on to a different subject. Silence, with Jamie sort of begging for that validation. You can hear the dad finally accepting what happened. Only the mum jumping in to break the silence. Both mum and sister crying as Jamie mentions he goes to the gym when he is allowed. It is a really emotional moment, with “I don’t really know” doing a ton of heavy lifting. He says sorry a couple of times but never gets what he is looking for. Honestly I can see so much of myself in the dad here.
Before the ending, the dad finally comes to terms with what he saw at the police station. The mum does so much to help him get there, both parents helping each other through the helplessness and the blame. What you see is good people who tried their best.
The show ends in Jamie’s bedroom where it all started. The dad tucking in a teddy bear, saying he could have done better. Saying goodbye to his teenage son, the one he will not see again. It almost made me cry. It did get a tear or two. You have two emotional episodes back to back, but this one has far more layers to it.
Closing thoughts
Watching this show, some of my worries were earned. From what I can tell it got a few things wrong, mainly misrepresenting incels, Andrew Tate and a handful of other things. But it did shine a light on something most people will never encounter or know about. Online subcultures can be very tricky to follow. If you are not in the know you are clueless about it. Owen Cooper apparently helped correct a couple of mistakes the writers had made, and the show was not made with researchers who specialise in this stuff. Given how heavy and dark the series is I can forgive them for that. Some of this I only know on a surface level myself, but I have noticed it bleeding into my feeds. The references to the Matrix blue pill, red pill and black pill are a good example of that.
This piece is already quite long so I am going to wrap it up, but I think there is another piece to write here.
The focus should be on society as a whole. How we treat people, along with toxic grifters and the influence they can yield over us all. It is easy to forget that the reason we are not in prison is not down to one choice or one mistake. There is no such thing as black or white, just grey. People often forget that, and how one treats society’s most vulnerable says a lot about society as a whole. Given how successful it has been, there is talk of a season two. I am not so sure we should get one. Some stories just need to be told and left alone, unless the next one focuses on adulthood. I was wrong to avoid it for so long. It was uncomfortable but necessary. It was not an easy watch and really uncomfortable at certain moments. It made me reflect on so much I never expected. I am also worried people are taking the lazy, easy route by banning social media for under 16s. It just delays things or gets bypassed. It does not work. Instead we should have a long and hard think about what this show means and what it shows us. This was not an easy watch, but it was a needed one.